You may not realize how much better you are doing — Recovery from trauma can take a long time. It’s frustrating because you want to be “done” and get on with your life. I have CPTSD and have been in trauma therapy for a long time. An unethical therapist set me back on my healing journey, but I am back on…

You can do it too! — Last November, I was struggling to walk. I could barely hobble down the road and back—only an eighth of a mile. The pain in my low back and right foot was excruciating when I walked. I had to clutch the rail to go up and down stairs. I had seen…

They told me to go to an urgent care — I am now completely without medical care. I wrote about my terrible experience at the doctor's office yesterday here: I Finally Went to the Doctor for My Anxiety Here’s how that wentmedium.com Well, I tried the antihistamine he prescribed, and it made me feel awful. My heart started racing, and I felt jittery. Not exactly a big help for anxiety. I called today…

If nobody is reading my work, why keep writing here? — Sorry, but this is one of “those” posts. I’ll be honest—I am losing the motivation to write here. My reads have fallen through the floor, yet I keep getting followers. The environment here has become very fake, and I hate it. It’s all about vanity metrics now. …

Here’s how that went — I spent the weekend having massive panic attacks, so I called to get a doctor's appointment this week. I don’t have a doctor anymore because mine left, and the office wasn’t interested in getting me in quickly with anyone else. In desperation, I called another office under the same practice…

Things are not always what they seem — I’ve been thinking a lot about the years I lived in my apartment. I certainly met some interesting people while I was there. In the building next to me, two young guys shared an apartment. One guy was dating a woman named Suzy (name changed), who was an exotic dancer. …

The strangest experience of my apartment living days — I loved the apartment where I used to live. I didn’t have to worry about home maintenance, and I had great neighbors who were also good friends. I lived on the second floor, in a corner unit, so I got extra windows. The complex was peaceful, and had lots of…

That’s my biggest fear — I’ve experienced a lot of healing over the past year, but in some ways I feel worse, too. Perhaps it’s just that I’m more aware of my feelings now. I’m not sure, but it honestly sucks. My anxiety is the worst it’s ever been in my life. I am frightened…

Musings of a healing person — I’ve been doing the practice of morning pages. Three pages of unscripted writing each morning to unload the junk from my mind. The results have been interesting. You might say my morning pages have become mourning pages. It’s amazing how much energy this type of journaling frees up. I believe…