Laurie, I guess I didn't make myself clear. I said nothing about feeling manipulated by the woman giving the testimony. I felt manipulated by the pastor.

And you are absolutely correct—the Bible promises trials and suffering. All the apostles except John were martyred. They died in unspeakable ways.

How arrogant of you to assume you know my life and how much I have or have not suffered. The past two years have been hell on earth for me, and guess what? I have not felt God with me.

But hey, that's a me problem, right? That's the rallying cry of spiritual abuse, and I know it well. That's what I grew up with.

I went to bed most of my teenage years begging God to save me because my father told me that God had turned his back on me because I still sinned, aka wasn't perfect.

I went to Christian school where I got more of the same. Judgement and rules. God hates you because you are a miserable sinner. Not much love taught there.

The only reason I didn't kill myself is because I didn't want to go to hell. Because I wasn't "really" saved and never could be. God hated me.

I now have crippling CPTSD, anxiety, and depression. No wonder. That's what being a Christian has done for me.

But thank you for reminding me why I stay away from most Christians and churches now. It's not worth it.

Maybe I would have more peace if I walked away from my faith. I certainly don't have any with it.

One thing I won't do—ever again—is sit back and take spiritual abuse without responding. Not from you, and not from anyone! The days of my cowering and running away from spiritual abuse are over.