Here’s how that went — I spent the weekend having massive panic attacks, so I called to get a doctor's appointment this week. I don’t have a doctor anymore because mine left, and the office wasn’t interested in getting me in quickly with anyone else. In desperation, I called another office under the same practice…

Forgiveness can bring healing, even after death — There’s no shortage of pain in the world. We all have a great capacity to hurt each other because hurting people hurt people. I didn’t know about my mother’s painful childhood until she was in her 80s. She grew up in a home with an alcoholic father who hit her…

That’s my biggest fear — I’ve experienced a lot of healing over the past year, but in some ways I feel worse, too. Perhaps it’s just that I’m more aware of my feelings now. I’m not sure, but it honestly sucks. My anxiety is the worst it’s ever been in my life. I am frightened…

Musings of a healing person — I’ve been doing the practice of morning pages. Three pages of unscripted writing each morning to unload the junk from my mind. The results have been interesting. You might say my morning pages have become mourning pages. It’s amazing how much energy this type of journaling frees up. …

You must fight for it — fiercely! — I’ve been on a long healing journey for the past few years. My healing needs are part physical and part emotional. During my journey, I’ve learned one thing with certainty. Healing is not for the faint of heart. You must fight for it—fiercely! Chronic Pain I’ve had chronic pain in my low…

I honestly don’t know — I’ve had my fill of drama on this platform. This was supposed to be a relaxing day, and I made the mistake of logging on here this morning. Most people on here are amazing, and I enjoy exchanging ideas with them. …

An ugly comment made me decide it is time — Update: Since writing this, I have reported this comment and blocked the author. She also left an ugly reply to another writer who left a comment. I also reported her comment to him. Jesus made it simple. Love God and love people. …

But this one did — I was up all night with panic attacks and paralyzing fear. So, I’m doing what I do to process trauma. I’m writing about it. I’ve been trying to find a new faith community, since my previous one abandoned me during my mother’s illness and death. I left when my pastor…

You may not realize how much better you are doing — Recovery from trauma can take a long time. It’s frustrating because you want to be “done” and get on with your life. I have CPTSD and have been in trauma therapy for a long time. …

And I feel incredibly guilty — Tomorrow is the memorial service for my best friend’s mother, and it’s going to wreck me. My mother died at the end of last August, and I haven’t remotely processed her life, illness, and death yet. My friend was there for me through all the stuff with my mother. My…

I consider today a trial run — Wow, this day went from bad to worse. I went to play music with my group tonight, and it didn’t go well at all. There was a large group of people there. It’s hard to hear yourself in a small room with a dozen musicians, and I got overwhelmed and…

By playing a musical instrument — When you are dealing with grief, and/or mental health issues, small activities become overwhelming. But if you can push yourself to do a creative activity, I guarantee you will feel better. One of the best creative outlets for your mental health is music. Benefits of Playing an Instrument Music provides significant benefits for mental health…

So simple, yet so profound — Last night, the sadness of the holiday season hit a new low for me and I had quite the emotional crisis. I cried for hours until I felt lousy. I should have done… I shouldn’t have done… If only I had done…different. Wow, that’s a lot of regrets! Crisis At my…

While working on the big issues — I’ve been working through some major mental health issues. I often feel overwhelmed and want to give up. Working from home makes things even more challenging. Mondays are especially difficult for me, but I’m ending the day feeling better than where I started this morning. …

For us, it’s the saddest time of the year — I miss my mother. She’s the one person who was always there for me. Her birthday would have been Christmas Eve. I am so incredibly sad. For those of us in mourning, Christmas is a reminder of who and what we’ve lost. I feel like my heart will never be…

While working on the big issues — I’ve been working through some major mental health issues. I often feel overwhelmed and want to give up. Working from home makes things even more challenging. Mondays are especially difficult for me, but I’m ending the day feeling better than where I started this morning. …

If you know—you know — I’ve had a rough few days, so I haven’t written for a while. I closed my Redbubble store after all the drama there, and it was an enormous disappointment. But it was also a blessing. Now I can focus more on writing and creating high content books to sell on…

Yes, it was as bad as you thought. Now what? — Have you ever been through a traumatic experience and wanted desperately for someone to believe you? I got that validation in therapy today, and I’m not sure how to feel. Relieved? Guilty? Sad? Angry? Those feelings are all valid, and I think I feel each of them right now. Yes, it was as bad as you thought I…

Your worth and value are not based on what you do. — I’m tired. After the past two years, most of us are. Besides the pandemic, I had to manage my mother’s care for dementia. She died three months ago, and now I’m working to settle her estate. I should also mention that I have CPTSD, chronic pain, work freelance only, and…

I promise I’m not a grinch — Next week is Thanksgiving. I’ll be spending it alone. I’ll probably grab takeout and watch movies all day. You would think that someone from my family would reach out, since my mother died in late August. You’d be wrong. Despite exchanging phone numbers at the funeral, no one in my…