Shake the Dust Off Your Feet
And don’t look back
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There is a big reunion of my youth group today. An opportunity to see all those people who ignored, or worse, bullied me when I was a kid.
I’m not going.
I considered it. I even opened up the registration form. But when I got to the question, “What was your favorite memory?” and didn’t have one, I figured it would be pretty crazy to go.
I was that kid. The one in the corner, trying to look relaxed, standing by myself. I was shy, socially awkward, and desperate for people to like me. I was an only child with older parents, and I just didn’t know how to fit in with my peers.
I threw myself into my music. I figured if I learned piano, I could play for the group and gain acceptance that way. But that didn’t really work out. I wasn’t popular enough, and no amount of—anything—could fix it.
“If people do not welcome you, leave their town and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.”—Luke 9:5
This verse is a reminder to not waste my time on people who do not receive me. That group never accepted me. And you know what? It was their loss.
I’m a cool person, and I like myself. I haven’t always been able to say that, but I’ve grown into my skin.
I’m a loyal friend and a person of integrity. I am intelligent and have all kinds of cool creative and musical abilities.
It makes me sad to read on Facebook about my peer’s happy memories and friendships from their time in the group. Many of them are still friends. That just wasn’t my experience, and I don’t understand why.
I was the kid who slept in the bathroom on an overnight trip because the bullying in the girl’s room was so bad.
I was the kid who the counselor’s son mocked and kicked on an away trip. (Don’t feel too bad for me. I finally hauled off and punched him in the stomach. He never bothered me again.)
Even now, after my mother’s death, those people are absent from my life, even though many of them still live nearby.
I forgive them—for me—but I am also shaking the dust off my feet and moving forward with my life. There is no going back in time. What’s done is done, and I have nothing to prove to them or to myself.
I’m at peace.
Yesterday I got a letter in the mail from my (former) church. They are doing their fall financial drive and want me to give them money.
This is the church with the pastor who bailed on doing my mother’s funeral.
Guess what?
I’m shaking the dust off my feet as a testimony against them. I want a community with people who value me as much as I value them.
I’m so grateful to understand that I deserve better. We can’t control the actions of others, but we can control our response.
The first step is to believe you deserve something better, because you do. It’s time to move forward to the good stuff. I’m ready.
